October 15, 2018

Mixed Messages

Hurry Up And Wait 


Pardon me if this sounds a little too woo-woo for you, but I’m a firm believer that life speaks to you if you listen. There are times when she speaks to you so loudly it hits you like a book to the face and you can’t help but listen. There are also times when the message is a faint whisper and the only way you can hear is by quieting the world, your mind, and being still with silence until you can hear.

"...the confusing this about both of these is that there’s merit to both. On any given day, one just makes more sense than the other."

Whichever way it comes to me, I always try to take note. Oftentimes, though, if the message is one I don’t like, I don’t. This is a whole other issue I’m trying to dissect, but the one that’s causing me the most inner turmoil these days are the mixed messages.

The sign that says, “Yes, you should take action now! You have everything you need. You are enough. Go! Do! Be! Live! Love!” is the same one followed by a message of “Patience is a virtue. Don’t rush the timing of life. Relax. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” And the confusing this about both of these is that there’s merit to both. On any given day, one just makes more sense than the other.

So what do I do? Which path do I take? I've always resented the feeling of being paralyzed by choice so instead what I've been doing is...both. I'm hurrying up and I'm waiting. I'm meeting people then I'm hiding out in my apartment for a whole weekend. I'm basically becoming someone who seems rather inconsistent, and I can't say I like it. I want to stand steadfast in my choices — one choice. THE choice. But maybe that's the issue life is trying to whisper to me: we're allowed to change. You don't have to be a steadfast pillar, ever sure of all of your decisions. Nothing is ever as black and white as you'll hope to make it.


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