September 5, 2018

Time To Blossom

Open up, buttercup


I've come a long way since I started blogging. I'm no longer the 22-year-old perfectionist keying away about what I hoped and planned my life would be or wearing outfits representative of who I thought I was meant to become. Now, I find myself keying away about what life actually is and who I actually am, fully embracing that all of this is subject to, and most likely will, change.  Being open to the changes of my life has made me more open in general — especially here. In a recent interview with Dame, I gave them a tour of my bedroom and shared a bit about my journey to self acceptance. Below is my favorite excerpt, but see the full piece here.

So, now that I don't have that regular validation of having someone directly in my life who's like "I like your body, I like the way you look, I like these things,” ...I have to do that for myself.


Women have complicated relationships with their bodies, but it can be especially entrenched for black women. I was wondering if you could speak a bit to the journey you're on within your own body, and maybe how you've had to reframe what society has dictated about beauty standards in order to better love yourself?

That's something that I'm only looking at now. I'm thinking big picture, like going back to puberty. Because the thing about becoming a woman and blossoming...is that it always happens through the eyes of someone else. That's why people say, "The Male Gaze." I knew that I had wider hips and that meant that I was "more of a woman" because men started reacting to it. So, one thing that I've realized, in terms of accepting my body, is now I'm accepting it on my own terms. This is the longest I've ever been single, aside from childhood. I had a high school boyfriend, a long term college boyfriend, and then after college, I've pretty much been single since. So, now that I don't have that regular validation of having someone directly in my life who's like "I like your body, I like the way you look, I like these things,” ...I have to do that for myself. And when I do that for myself, it's not the same way that a boyfriend would. Mind you, I totally like my ass, my hips, and my boobs...and yes, a guy can like that for his own sexual reasons but the reason I like those things is it makes me feel really feminine, and I'm really loving my femininity.



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