July 23, 2018

Now We Wait

Hello Patience, we meet again

I have many strengths. I know how to make amazing mac n' cheese (the cheesy, baked southern kind), I can pick out the perfect red lipstick for any of my friends, and dogs love me. You’ll notice that on this list, patience doesn't make an appearance. That's because I don’t have it. I’ve never liked waiting, and while I know there aren't many people who do, there are some for whom waiting is tolerable. Can you believe that there are some people who see waiting as an opportunity to do something else? For example, if they’re waiting for a bus that’s a few minutes late, they cheerily use that time to read a book or call a friend. My brain doesn’t work that way. I’d spend those extra minutes mentally cursing the bus, the driver, its passengers, and worrying about what will happen now that I am all of 7 minutes late. So yes, waiting isn’t a very pleasant experience for me. 

"It's maddening to realize some things are just out of your control and subject to the timing of life."

And because life and the powers that be know this, it seems like more and more lately it’s been the one thing required of me. I'm waiting to get that next level in my career, I'm waiting for a strike of creativity to propel my next project, I'm waiting to find someone I can feel passionate about again. Hell, as I write this on my morning commute, I'm waiting for the 6 train to get moving! And all the time I'm waiting, I've been moving as many pieces as are in my control to move and sitting impatiently with my hands clasped. It's maddening to realize some things are just out of your control and subject to the timing of life. 

So, I'm trying to find my options. I can't be stuck in a state of frustration because of time. Either I get comfortable with where I am presently so I don’t even feel the need to wait for something better, or I just get comfortable with waiting. Because of who I am, I know the former won't work. It's that hope for something better that keeps me excited about life, which means I'm going to have to become good friends with patience—no cursing at the cosmos allowed.


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