April 23, 2018

I'm A Grown Woman

I do whatever I want (after learning life's valuable lessons)

Aries szn is over, but I'm still basking in my newly-turned-27 glory. Yes, your girl is now closer to her thirties than to her twenties, and I've been playing around with the idea that this now makes me a bonafide grown woman. Cue Beyoncé (surely you knew that reference was coming).

I don't think the act of aging is enough to warrant my feeling this way, but it did give me a reason to pause, step back from myself and go, "okay, Audrey. I see what you're working with here, and damn, you're kind of grown now." Slowly, and without my knowledge, I've been growing. Knocks that would leave me completely askew now leave me with lessons, and I'm learning them faster. Maybe it's because as a grown woman, life doesn't afford you the time sit in your perceived failures. Take what you can and go, go, go.

"There's no way I could've forced the hand of this growth into grown-ness."

In the go-go-go-going, I've also felt my womanhood level up. I'm happy to be in control. I'm happy to do! I'm working more to empower myself, which is honestly just giving myself permission. Yes, you can do that thing. Disregard the fear-based reasons why you can't or shouldn't and just do. There's no way I could've forced the hand of this growth into grown-ness. I sort of had to take my punches until they no longer felt like punches.

Ultimately, I'm finding that being a grown woman isn't about having all the correct answers or doing the right thing every time. For me, it's about opening myself up to learning what right means for me, using that newfound knowledge to make better decisions, and standing firm on the choices I make.


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