April 17, 2017

Just Keep Going

And you too can wear fancy clothes in SoHo & have your own NY apartment

Currently there are sirens wailing outside my window. Not nearly as alarming as it may seem considering it's Sunday night in New York. To be honest, sirens any night of the week are the norm here. The only thing new is I'm hearing them from my new apartment in New York—my new apartment. Something about those sharp, blaring ambulance sirens sound so much sweeter hearing them from a place all my own.

"For the past year I've been trying to carve out a place for myself in this overcrowded, overpriced, overwhelming city."

If you are a regular reader (shout out to you, homegirl! You're the real MVP!), you might've seen this post: Moving and Making It Home. For the past year I've been trying to carve out a place for myself in this overcrowded, overpriced, overwhelming city. Shoving my life into an old Brooklyn room, jumping from job to job, and trying to make homes out of people hadn't quite done it.

After all the headaches (a few heartaches, too) that came from shoving, jumping and trying, there was a point where I just settled into it. I couldn't force myself to feel something or be somewhere that wasn't. This was my life in New York. Cool, I said. Let's go with it, I said. And obviously this is when everything decided to work itself out. Of freakin' course. 

When I stopped looking for apartments (and being disappointed by horrendous options within my budget) is when my friend approached me about becoming roommates. When I stopped worrying about having the "perfect" job, I was able to contribute more to the one I had, which in turn gave me the opportunity to actually do some amazing things. When I let go of the idea that the right person/people would make me feel at home, I was able to see that the people who had been there (and were still there) were enough. I just kept going with my life as it was, and it turned into what I'd been searching for.


Just so you know, Monday morning sounds are a little different to Sunday night ones. Whatever disaster that came with the sirens has passed and there is a holier chime. The round-the-corner chapel's bell tolls the hour, and though I know that means I need to get out of bed, I don't. Songbirds are up with the early morning commuters, chirping over the heavy-footed shuffling. Children outside are playing before they get walked to the school a few blocks from my building. Everything is funny to them. I can't hear the joke, but the laughter is proof.  Because the city won't allow a true sense of peace ever, cars honk to remind you to get your ass moving, for god sakes. I'm still tap-tapping away from my bed (can't buy a desk set yet), looking out of the window spying on it all, finally in a space that feels like mine.

photos by @trustmyeye

This Pleated Knit Off the Shoulder Top was sent by Rainbow Shops for styling purposes. All thoughts and opinions, as usual, are my own!

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