Look guys, I'm trying here—give me some credit
Nobody dismisses advice like I do. Sometimes it's because I think I'm just too smart, just too above it all to be bothered. Most of the time it's because I've been given the same advice so often that it doesn't even carry meaning anymore. It just plays like a broken record in the background of my mind.
"All I need is a drop of sun, maybe even a barely budding flower fighting against frozen soil, to make spring out of winter. But in the end, I always end up having to dig the leopard fur coat out of my closet."
One of my favorite of bits of ignored advice is "if you know better, do better." Coming from a matriarchal family, this particular nugget of wisdom always comes to me in a discerning grandmother's voice right as I begin to consider doing something I know damn well I shouldn't be doing. Take, for example, even the simplest something: this outfit.
Due to a disturbing but appreciated bout of spring weather in New York, I'd thrown this obnoxious fur coat in the "buh-bye winter" pile. Everyone told me that this uncharacteristically warm weather would be gone in a week. From personal experience with this damn city I knew it'd be gone in a week. Did that stop me from shaving my legs, burying my winter wear and pulling out my spring dresses? It did not.
And do you know what that bold dismissal of advice left me with? Frozen appendages and the familiar regret that comes with failing to "do better." When you're as strong-willed and hopeful as I can be, doing better doesn't come easily just because you know better. All I need is a drop of sun, maybe even a barely budding flower fighting against frozen soil, to make spring out of winter. But in the end, I always end up having to dig the leopard fur coat out of my closet. Luckily for me, the grandma in my head is like most other grandmas—patient, understanding and quick to reassure me that I'll do better next time.
photos by @trustmyeye